People that know me, even casually, know that I am a huge futbol fan.  I have been for years.  That’s why I couldn’t wait for June of 2010 to roll around, because it meant that my favorite athletes would be gathering in South Africa for the FIFA World Cup.  However, the World Cup frenzy must always be taken with a grain of salt.  Sure, I love that Americans are FINALLY catching up with the rest of the world in embracing the most exciting of all sports.  But their enthusiasm is often short-lived, as lame games like baseball and American football quickly divert their interests.  While small-mindedness and Attention Deficit Disorder are nothing new in the United States, it is a tad disheartening that we only hop on the “soccer” bandwagon every four years.  I mean, what’s not to like about the aggregated scoring, the tie-games and saying “nil?”  I love that there seems to be no sound reasoning behind the time-keeping of games, as the clock goes up to a subjective finale. An arbitrary amount of additional time, maintained by officials (with absolutely no agenda whatsoever) just seems to increase the intensity of the match.  Besides, I never was a fan of the ol’ 0:00, as that was entirely too definitive. 

Sports are not intended to have winners and losers every time.  That’s why we can’t wait to invest over two hours to a match that ends in a tie.  Because, a tie isn’t really a tie if one team scores later than the other, right?

Which brings me to my point, or “GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL,” if you will:  There is no winner in the Bavaria Beer vs. FIFA match.  FIFA has a stranglehold on the sponsorship of the World Cup, and only allows approved corporations to advertise in World Cup arenas.  This is understandable, as futbol is a big business.  International exposure is gained by those that pay the (hefty) cost.  But where does that leave the little guy?  On the outside looking in?

Not so, in the case of the Bavarian Brewing Company, based in Holland.  Their miniscule marketing budget would not afford them the luxury of advertising on the world’s stage this June.  However, Bavaria’s lack of financial resources was superseded by their shrewd guerilla marketing tactics.  The ad wizards at Bavaria decided to offer the Dutch ladies an added incentive to their twelve-pack purchases:  a complimentary oranje micro-miniskirt, emblazoned with the “Bavaria” name down one side.  Beer-loving fashionistas: your prayers have been answered!     

***DISCLAIMER*** In an attempt to maintain journalistic integrity, the author would like to take a moment to fully disclose that his heart bleeds Netherlands Oranje.  They are, hands down, the greatest assembly of futbol Gods the world has ever known.  We takin’ (Group) E, and rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ to the next one… 

            The situation got a little dicey when approximately thirty Dutch beauties, dressed in their Bavarian Oranje micro-minis, invaded a FIFA stadium to cheer on their National team.  The FIFA powers-that-be were not having this oranje invasion, and this resulted in the arrest of two Team Holland supporters.  Barbara Castelein and Mirte Nieuwpoort were arrested in their hotel, charged with “ambush marketing.”  The charges were soon dropped, and FIFA suffered a public relations hit.  In the meanwhile, this fiasco gave Bavaria some sought-after free publicity. 

            Final score:  FIFA – 0, Bavaria – 0.  The breakdown:  FIFA gets their way, and shuts down the guerilla marketing campaign, but suffers from a PR standpoint.  Bavaria loses it’s “Bavaria Row” appeal, but gains a little in the pub department (pun intended).  So, the tie goes to Bavaria!  Yet, the rest of the world loses, as we can never get enough of Dutch women in miniskirts.

In Defense of my Oranje Crush