So, the weekend is back and we’re ready to hit the club lookin for a female companion. That’s when gems like this make you seriously ask: “What would the prince do?
Then there are always those moments that make you ask: “What would Prince do?”
To which the answer would be Apollonia (waters of Lake Minnetonka, anyone?)
And we here at Word…Life, Son know what the Fresh Prince do: mack on the honeys
Check the above fit for bonus points.
And that brings us back to Jazzy Jeff which makes the track complete…
So when I was pondering who should be my Friday Dime, I was thinking about what qualities are most important to me… Is it the face? the sense of humor? the body? the smile? the personality? will she make a good mother to my imaginary children that I hope I never have?
And then it hit me that I think I know someone that has all of the above: blogger Kelly Oxford
Kelly Oxford
I’ve only recently discovered Kelly… which was actually through Jessica Alba’s twitter page. Yes, I follow Jessica Alba on twitter, but I have a valid reason… other than the fact that she’s a certified dime. I was at a L.A. Clippers game and thought I saw Jessica and decided to follow her on twitter to see if I could verify. I thought only celebrities went to Lakers games ya know? But then I remembered that the Clippers were playing the Heat… Anyway, Jessica retweeted a hilarious Kelly tweet and I was instantly hooked. And I could tell by the 1cm x 1cm picture of her in the tiny top left corner of my phone, that she was a dime to boot!!!
I only mention Jessica Alba though, b/c she is now producing a sitcom that is going to feature Kelly Oxford. Game recognize game, right? As a stay-home mother of 3, Kelly has been blogging since 1997, back before I even knew what the internets were… and she also recently signed a book deal with Harper Collins to write a memoir… Make sure you follow her on twitter (@kellyoxford)… she definitely has the highest %-age of great tweets of anyone I follow. Seriously, every time she tweets, it’s solid. Pun! and a Big Pun at that…
All apologies to the handful of #FridayDime fiends that were forced to get their weekly fix from… well… you do have the internet. But anyways, we at Word… Life, Son won’t make you think for yourselves any longer. This is especially fitting, as this week’s mission is to give them Mary Jane Girls (and your brain cells) a lil’ burn. Continue reading →
I know I should not start off this blog post by mentioning that I have been hanging out with my sister a lot lately… but… I’m apparently going to anyway. That fact is relevant because she is the biggest Full House fan that I know. Bar none. And while in NYC over Memorial Day weekend (bars visited? none), I found myself sitting in my family’s hotel room with my sister at one point, watching the episode “Middle Age Crazy” where Steph pouts (like my younger brother) about how the poor middle child gets no attention… Awww. It was classic Full House… It even had a bad-ass Asian toddler named Harry that “married” Steph and called her “chief.” I wish I could pull off calling people “chief.” Anyway, last weekend, you all could have watched that episode along with @JodieTweetin while she live-tweeted during the show. Ya blew it, capeché?
Ever since watching that ep, which also included Danny, Jesse, and Joey macking on 3 fire dime hags, Full House has seemed to just periodically pop in my head. Therefore, when it was time to write “Friday Dimes,” I immediately said to myself… and the two guys I work with, “What’s Jodie Sweetin looking like nowadays?” Google. Images. Jodie Sweetin. Bam!!!!
Jodie Sweeeet In
And the office goes wild!!! Seriously, me and my coworkers were bouncing off the walls after that pic popped up… It really doesn’t get much better than that, folks. She definitely blows the Olsen’s out of the water right now, imho. It also sounds as if Jodie has put her addiction problems behind her… which she apparently says stemmed from insecurities and a lack of self confidence… Well Jodie, if you ever have those problems creeping up again, I will point you in the right direction and make sure to give you all the attention that Steph never got…
Needless to say, Full House will continue to periodically pop into my head.
Okay, so it’s time to have that talk about the day my boner passed out. Why? Because the ultimate sex object of my teenage dreams became a nude model in Playboy. It was awesome and frightening…hence, the reason for my boner to pass out. That’s right. We’re taking the Boner Way-Back Machine “downtown” as we explore this “Friday Dimes” with Downtown Julie Brown!
Having become somewhat of a TV celebrity, she did more than just VJ the end of the actual music video days of MTV before the nutty reality show craze drilled into the collective skull of the populace, she also hosted dance parties and was like a smallish gem on the hump of an otherwise increasingly knockoff street vendor. And she inspired the little Atarilogic in me.
This was back in the ’90′s when everything was moving from neon to grunge and the style of music meandered between hyped out dance music and glammed-over diva vocalist shit. Lest we forget the golden era of ’90′s hip hop, I am just trying to put things in perspective. More to the point, celebrity had fallen over the edge and the class was cleverly leached out of the remaining culture of creativity. Music had changed. This was the day of the CD. Plastic was king and the compact disc was the new medium. This was before TMZ started taking pictures of limo vaginas and making pornography a “game-changer” for icons who were losing viability in a struggling market.
However, flipside to the coin, sexuality was starting to recover from the ’80′s AIDS scare and it was time to take the top off this badboy and get back to being complete horn-dogs. Having decided that it was completely unAmerican to hide the private parts, the culture had shifted into what I like to call “PreMillenial Boner Dependency.” The market had changed brands and realized that sex still sells. Thus, in 1998, Downtown Julie Brown made her appearance in Playboy and my brain nearly imploded.
Witness: Perfect mocha colored skin, tiny frame, the English accent, that “good” hair, lovable laugh, perky tits and the plume of bush (which I have to mention is making a comeback. You knew that right, ladies?) Anyway, what you get is a reaction that deprives your body of blood as it rushes to your boner, creating a vacuum effect that makes for a potentially dangerous change in body pressure and the perfect Friday Dime. Enjoy.
Atarilogic implemented the Friday Dimes, and I am on board like a mu’fucka. My first contribution to Rebecca Black’s Eisenhowers comes with a no-look dime from Ego Trip for the heads-up. Get lifted:
